was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
