fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
