The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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