I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
