remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
