Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
