brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
