eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize