after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
