guys are not supposed to queef...right?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
