It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize