I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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