THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
