I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
