Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
