We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
