What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
