I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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