is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
