Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
