her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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