She's JV to your varsity
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
