I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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