I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
