whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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