just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
