U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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