is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
