dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
