butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
