do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
