Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
