people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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