I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
