hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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