i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
