Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
