We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
