so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Liz is crying about burritos again.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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