i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
