Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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