How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize