Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
