we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
