I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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