so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
wanna go halves on a baby?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Randomize
