You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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