I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
