So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
