he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize