O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
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