I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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