so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
