He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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