Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
