I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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