everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
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