They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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