Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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