Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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