discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
