I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
