i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
