Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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