they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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