So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
How's work?
Spinning.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Terrible idea I love it
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
