That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
