I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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