dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
